i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
