when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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