she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
