I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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