so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
