I'm laying in your front yard are you home
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
