Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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