I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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