Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
