No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
