Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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