drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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