I will die if light touches me.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
