how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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