Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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