You're my little dorito
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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