so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
