put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
