why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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