He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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