Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
