i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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