He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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