do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
