How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
NoShamevember. You game?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
