plz talk dirty to me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
