If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
