my mouth tastes like poor choices
she smelled like a LAN party
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
