im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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