I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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