It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
