That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
