Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
