I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
