why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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