Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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