If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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