girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
