So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
