Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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