She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
