I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
