would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
