don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
