And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
