Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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