Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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