Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
