Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
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