I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
there was a trapeze. enough said
im holly from the hills drunk
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize