remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
