Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
