My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
